Shirley wasn't talking to a five year old but to ME !
We had arrived at the harbour beach together, that is to say, she had arrived and I had staggered along about five minutes later, clutching my chest, frozen to the bone with icicles hanging off both nostrils and the end of my nose, desperate for food, having left home full to bursting ten minutes before !
I dropped onto the carrier bag she had positioned for me so I wouldn't get wet from the sand and reached into my coat pocket to retrieve the packet of Belvita biscuits that she'd had me carry !
"I suppose you're starving despite only just having stuffed your face with oversalted peanut butter on toast ?"
"Yes !" I gasped, "I'm dying of hunger...give us one !"
Belvita biscuits, for those of you who don't know, are a disgustingly cloying alternative breakfast food designed for busy people on the run...which is not us !
They are so horrible that we have been known to carry the same packet, unopened, for months, until in fact they have disintegrated into dust because neither of us can stand them !
I gobbled my two greedily and didn't refuse when she offered me a half of one of hers !
They are that disgusting that they'd clogged up my throat and I stared wild eyed at her tiny half full (to save weight) water bottle silently pleading for help !
Eventually and with the sort of reluctance only a wife can display and a mouth turned downwards in loathing said, "Wipe your lips and don't slobber into it !"
So I did what I was told because I'm clever like that and wanted some dinner when we got home !
No comments:
Post a Comment