A SUPERFAN turned up today and was in the early throes of worshipping me when my wife walked into my room and started chatting to her and LIKE MAGIC, I became invisible !
It's not the first time this has happened as whenever more than one woman gathers around me I disappear !
It's not only women that have this effect as whenever my family visit I also could be non-existent !
My daughter and her mother totally talk right through me even when I have a valid point to make though neither of them obviously thinks so and my daughter always seems particularly keen to point out why no-one WANTS to listen to me !
The other day I ended up jumping up and down and screaming at them to shut up and listen to what I had to say, as I was a human with his own mind and opinions...but they simply carried on talking to each other...as if I was dead and didn't exist...actually simply as if I didn't exist and had never existed !
My sons also consider my views an irrelevance as does the entire rest of the world...but back to women !
I watch groups of them, especially Hen Parties, all talking and laughing at the same time walking towards my stall and try and spot which one is actually listening to any of the others or if it's only two which one can stop talking for long enough to hear what her friend is saying and I never succeed !
ARE any of you listening ?
Oh and my grandchildren don't even hear me speak unless I'm asking them if they want some sweets !
I generally get all this out of my system by going to market and talking about myself ALL day without caring whether anyone is listening or not which they're not...it's GREAT therapy and has so far kept me away from standing on street corners waving my fist and shouting at passing traffic !
Unfortunately I decided not to go to market today as the weather forecast was bad and this has led to a backwash of tension that is NOT good and whilst I was busy changing Shirley's bike's rear wheel inner tube hoping to somehow get into her good books and what a fool I am to even try, I heard the familiar COMMAND reverberating through three walls, "GET THAT BLOG OFF or at least change the bit about people you KNOW you can't insult ! What were you thinking of ? "
So I've removed that bit !
"And why is the butter out and not put away ?"
"Because it's empty, scraped clean to within an nanomillimetre of its life !"
"Not in my book it's not !"
Ah is that the rain approaching ?
I bloody well hope so !
