Tomorrow I'm going to have an endoscopy to see what's causing whatever problems I've been having and when I checked the letter this morning I read the word 'Gastrology' and thought that that meant sticking the tube up from the other end so I phoned the ward and said, remarkably sneerily, "Do you know what I'm having tomorrow ?" as if I was talking to an idiot and the receptionist said with genuinely undisgused kindness, the sort reserved for scared ancient idiots, "Yes of course, we are going to have a look down your throat into your stomach."
"Ah so 'Gastrology' doesn't mean coming up from the other direction ?"
"No it doesn't Jonathan, you're having that next week...a CT Colonoscopy."
Only professionals call me by my real first name as I can't be bothered trying to explain why no-one else calls me by it !
"Right, I was just checking !" I stuttered holding my fist between my teeth to stop myself bursting into tears, "I'll see you tomorrow then!"
And yes I HAD read the enclosed leaflet that described EXACTLY what they would be doing !
Must be nerves then !
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