It's not that she's ever hit me because quite simply, I've never done anything to make her want to !
OK, I might have annoyed her a bit at times which I believe is unusual in itself because my male friends tell me that their wives never get upset with them .
When things get a bit sticky, she normally squeezes her eyes shut and counts silently to ten before opening them and smiling at me in an understanding way.
So what's all this about NOT hitting me then ?
Well I've had to start taking an anticoagulant drug to prevent my dodgy AF ridden heart pumping blood clots to my brain where they would possibly have a small effect on my life.
The trouble with the tablets is that there is no antidote to them and should I have a major bleed after being whacked across the skull by an angry woman I WOULD hemorrhage to death !
I must also avoid getting into fights up the pub, not have a high speed car crash, not fall over or cut my hand open with a Stanley knife !
My Grandson is not allowed to headbutt me or kick me in the shins anymore either !
So I was explaining this to Shirley when we had a drive today and after I said, "Shirley ! You can't hit me anymore !" she dismissed my words with, "I shall hit you if I want to !"
So everyone, anyone, I just want someone who reads this to bear in mind that if my death seems to be surrounded by mysterious circumstances I have probably been hit round the back of the head by my wife whose Crocodile tears WILL be totally false !
Please tell the police !
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