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| KEITH RUTHERFORD IS THE NICEST MAN IN THE WORLD ! |
You can see the photo of him accepting my trophy by visiting Blog 64 !
At the age of eighty he has worked his socks off all his life and continues to plough his croft which is also home to hundreds of 'found' golf balls proudly displayed in ranks of attractiveness in his enormous barn !
He earned his title after returning a 'magic' golf ball to me which I'd told him I'd lost and which flashed on and off for twenty seconds once you'd hit it and was perfect for playing with at night !
Needless to say I didn't tell him what it could do or I'd never have seen it again !
If you dare to approach his barn you'll be greeted by a sign planted on it's approach warning "DOGS WILL BE SHOT!"
The man himself will then appear unshaven from his cottage wearing the same red boiler suit he's worn non-stop for several years and his wellies and invite you to buy some of his glorious eggs for only the price, if you're English, of a King's ransom !
Walter is, of course, as soft as clarts and has eaten more than his fair share of my biscuits !
But there is yet another man who plays a major part at the heart of the Island !
You'll find him wedged behind the smallest Post Office counter in the world, almost overwhelmed by ancient files, books of stamps and mountains of ancient rubber bands, some as old as the Post Office itself !
Keith Rutherford and his ready grin for everyone is goodness and gentleness personified and once he's collected and sorted the post from the ferry can often be seen delivering it at midnight !
He waves a welcome at everyone whenever he's on his rounds and if the author of Postman Pat DIDN'T use him as the model for his books I'll eat my hat !
He is generosity itself and although reticent to break up any of his magnificent collections of stuff, one year let me help myself to several of the more decayed of several hundred wooden pallets he had amassed in his stockyard and although he didn't go as far as helping me saw them up for my frozen cottage's fire, did lend me a saw with only half it's teeth missing to carry out the back-breaking task !
His gentlest of jibes of, "Why don't you just do what everyone else does and buy some coal?" illicited only a grin and a grunt from this one-time boy scout !
Keith has never offered me any of his mountain of rubber bands but he has SHOWN me them and dated many of them with a wistful tear in his eye of good times remembered !
The highlight of another tour he took me on was a view of the sixty watt lightbulb he had removed from his former home in Nottingham and which had continued to burn brightly in the storage room behind the Post Office throughout the thirty years since he'd taken on the mantle of Postmaster !
Not everyone gets to see these things but I think he honours me because I regularly buy another one of his collection of postcards of hugely horned Highland Bulls at every visit which he comments on in his wonderfully laconic dismissive voice by saying, " I wouldn't still be open if it wasn't for people like you !"
Keith used to run the attached shop until about five years ago and my children loved nothing more on a wet day than to spread out amongst the shelves playing a version of 'TOP TRUMPS' but using long-expired 'SELL BY' dates to score points !
I think the record was about fifteen years for a tin of Heinz's Chicken And Mushroom Pie !
But I've saved mentioning his greatest collection 'til last.....his amazing cardboard boxes which fill every spare room and cubby hole in his house and several broken down cars as well !
You can clearly see one of his older ones in my photo, sitting on the counter, rather moth-eaten and bearing the stains of many years useful service !
A couple of years ago I witnessed at first hand Keith finding himself in the almost impossible position of being asked by an elderly lady Islander as to whether he had any spare boxes suitable for using to send a gift in .
"A BOX ?" he choked, "A BOX ? What sort of A BOX ?"
" Well just a wee box for a fragile gift for my great grandaughter ." she replied, a little put off her stroke by his suddenly surprisingly slightly aggressive tone !
" Well I don't know if I have any but if you wait there I'll take a look !"
He could then be heard muttering to himself in his storeroom, growling things like, " Well she's not having that one or that one or that one or that one and definitely not this one ! "
Eventually he emerged flustered holding against his chest and delicately nestled in the palm of one hand whilst stroking it with the other, a box so small that it could only have been used to hold a hundred or so business cards and reluctantly offered it up with a raised exasperated eyebrow saying " Will this do ?" to the confused old dear who had obviously never asked for one before !
She said, "I WAS hoping for something slightly larger Keith, about the size of a shoebox if you could take another look !"
" Well I'm sorry ! " he replied a tad harshly, "this is all I can spare but I can sell you some wrapping paper instead !"
Which is what he did and looking at me, tutted and shook his head in disbelief at her gall as she arthritically limped out of the shop !
The TRUTH is that everyone REALLY loves Keith and hopes he never retires !
And I asked his permission before writing this !
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