Sally-Part 23. SHOCK HORROR ! MAN WRITES ON WOMAN'S WALL !

I could see that something was bothering Gemma. She had only spent fifty nine of the previous sixty minutes texting ! She seemed distracted as I played with her children for four solid hours for the twentieth time this week ! OK ! OK ! They are my grandchildren and I love them more than life itself ! And doesn't Gemma just know it !

 I'm sorry, I'm sorry ! Didn't mean anything by that !

And then the bombshell exploded under me and my confidence drained away !

" Dad ! You've written on a woman's wall and that's just not on ! You have overstepped the boundaries of decency and I'm telling you that you have embarrassed me, embarrassed my friend and you have humiliated mum and you have let yourself down very badly ! I am ashamed to call you my father ! "

" WHAT ? WHAT ? " I sputtered ! What is " Writing on a wall ? " What does that mean ? "Writing on a wall ? Writing on a wall ? " What is a " Wall " ? And where did I write on it ? And what did I write and who is she and how have I crossed what boundary of decency ? "

WELL ! this is what I did !

When I started writing my blog and to reach as wide an audience as possible and being absolutely new to computers, typing and in fact any kind of electronic, that is modern, technology I found myself on my " Friends " page.

 I found that I had no friends !

 And so I clicked onto my children and found that they had lots of friends who had lots and lots of friends and I started clicking on " Friend request " and unbelievably all but three of the seventy eight accepted me immediately!

Three answered "Who are you ? " and I told them.

And then because one of my new friends was a mother who I recognised from the playground.....and that's a playground, as in school and not somewhere electronic, if there is somewhere electronic called a playground which I suppose would be a place that naughty people would visit to see very naughty things like ladies ankles and stuff........ I innocently wrote a note telling her what I was doing, not what I was doing at that moment ( ! )  and asked her to link my blog on to any of her friends whom she thought might enjoy it.

I "sent" it and apparently when I "send" things everyone sees them and that is what has led to me being in such deep doody!

To defend myself I said, " Gemma ! It's not as if I was some kind of strange man who went to the circus or the pantomine on his own! "

And she said " But that's exactly what you do! "

" Ah! Yes! " I replied, " I do don't I ? "

"And it's not as if I'm the sort of man who delivered a howlingly funny one hour and seven minute speech at his daughter's ( first ) wedding!
 Oh! I did didn't I?"

" But! But! It's not as if I am the sort of man who disappears upstairs at a New Year's Eve party and comes down wearing a Mankini, am I?"
 Oh! I am aren't I ? Oh dear and I did it  infront of those very nice staid ladies didn't I?"

And the photo of me in my Mankini is precisely what Gemma was showing fifteen women when I picked her up drunk and eating a stolen CADBURY'S CREME EGG ( note THAT Weightwatchers and Mr. Atkins! ) from an "ANN SUMMER'S" party last Friday !

So, if I do anything wrong or overstep something that I don't know that I'm overstepping, I apologise in advance and beg everybody's forgiveness, for I know not what I do !

Now I MUST get on with my next blog !