I mostly do NOTHING in my kitchen apart from making a mug of coffee because A) I have a relentless work schedule in my next door workshop and B) Shirley or my children could never STAND to eat anything I ever tried to cook and C) I use every implement in the place just to boil an egg and D) I use too much hot water to wash up and then don't stand the cutlery the right way up or the plates leaning the right way so I stay out !
HOWEVER, this morning I had to go and pick up Daniel who I'd been told knew how to turn his dishwasher on but dishwashers irritate me as I think that they make naturally lazy people even lazier !
Even Daniel at ten has no patience with me but DID show me how to place the soap in the slot and pour some rinsing aid into its pot !
He's clever but I still washed up my coffee mug and teaspoon in his sink as I'm pretty sure he would have criticised me if I hadn't !
I LIKE washing up and rinsing things PROPERLY and it's the same with ironing...I ENJOY it...and I enjoy HOOVERING, especially the EDGES !
I wouldn't even mind using a mangle which has no place in a modern home and which I remember watching my frazzled mother use, Sally of the Blog title, struggling to turn the handle as she wrecked her five sons' clothes in it !
I don't mind cleaning the toilet or the tiles or the mould that regularly reappears on the bathroom grouting, for which I keep an old toothbrush at the extreme left hand edge of the bathroom windowsill and it is a toothbrush that led to a bit of tension early this morning !
My own toothbrush sits on its own just to the right of the mould removal toothbrush and Shirley used MINE to clean around the base of the taps which is MY job !
I didn't mean to grab it out of her hand quite so aggressively and pointlessly as I wouldn't be using it again and this resulted in some quite beastly name calling and general tantrums as my explanation of which is the cleaning toothbrush didn't sink in and wasn't helped by the fact that there were two other old toothbrushes in the cleaning toothbrushes position !
I had NO proper answer to her questions of why I hadn't thrown the other two out and why I hadn't cleaned around the bottom of the taps in the first place which would have saved her having to do a job which wasn't hers to do !
She then threw 'Michael' back in my face and told me to get back to him before my life turned bleak once I'd been off Facebook for over five minutes !
She went back to bed because she now only sleeps for a minute and a half most nights, including getting up for three if not four wees during that time and I slyly went and cooked myself an eggy bread which I only burnt on one side !
Just as I had finished eating and gathered the twenty items I'd used to take to the sink Shirley reappeared, more irritable with me than ever because the noise of the spatula being placed quietly on the glued together cooking implement dish had woken her up and ordered me to get out as she couldn't bear to see the mess I'd make or pull out the settee and insert the bent handle to pull open the meter cupboard door to check the electric meter to see how much electricity I'd use boiling three kettles for the washing up !
So now things have calmed down and I can get back to work before being summoned through for my daily thrashing at Scrabble !
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