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| THE SIGN MIGHT HAVE BEEN ALTERED SLIGHTLY BUT THE POSE IS GENUINE AS WE WAITED FOR NO ONCOMING TRAFFIC TO PASS AND THE LIGHTS TO CHANGE ! |
It's years since Shirley was terrified by the sound of The Hunt hurtling along the lane we were walking up back to the town on Lindisfarne and although The Hunt turned out to be a crowing cockerel and a yappy Jack Russell she was nervous as we set out on a freezing walk around the castle and back up a different lane !
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| BLINDING LIGHT AND A CRUEL WIND ! |
She wanted to walk even further, like a couple more miles but I went all brave and God knows where I dug that out of and insisted on a shortcut !
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| ALREADY QUITE SOME WAY AHEAD OF ME ! |
She's ALWAYS walked further than necessary or than is sensible for someone who generally doesn't do much long distance walking or anything else very physical as a rule and I dread things once I see her reading from her list of requirements and watch in horror as she gathers enough stuff to last a month in the Antarctic which I'm going to have to carry in an SAS sized rucksack as I plod wearily after her as she strides along in her Brasher boots whilst I struggle after her dressed in cheap unwaterproofed trainers through which I can feel every tiny pebble !
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| THE RECEPTION COMMITTEE LINED UP READY TO WELCOME THE FISHERMAN HOME ! |
As the gap between us grows longer and her demands fade thankfully into thin air I find myself staring at her quite short legs and wonder how she does it...she actually, at five feet, walks faster than I can at six feet !
I was skirting a beach when the unbelieveable happened, a REAL hunting horn blared out and I, normally calm, jumped out of my skin and ran forwards to catch my wife before she fainted clean away but she didn't appear terror struck because she realised that the blast was actually her incoming message alert tone on her ancient Iphone 4 which she had stuffed into my chest pocket !
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| I BELIEVE HE FELT LIKE ME ! |
It didn't help that I was wearing ear muffs and a thick woollen hat pulled right down to my eyebrows which made it impossible for me to place the sound accurately and also made it impossible for any passing woman to EVER fancy me ! Actually, wearing long white woollen gloves under my ski gloves and which stuck out creating a particularly uncool look also ensured no passing woman would fancy me, as did my second hand Wrangler jeans that have a waist band that continually slips down my backside adding to my overall look of something even a dog wouldn't drag in !
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| NO WIND ? WELL WHAT'S THAT THEN.....WITH BAMBURGH CASTLE IN THE BACKGROUND ! |
I bravely refused to sit on a damp beach whilst she reapplied her anti thigh rub gel and turned for home down a lane that lay under several feet of mud and puddles and slopped my way back to the Mead shop where I discovered that 'Dark' Mead is delicious and added several bottles to the rucksack that had rubbed great welts into my shoulders and staggered back to the car and watched in horror as my wife, now running with sweat in the -1*C, to her, heatwave and that I was shivering in, reached for the atlas, intent on finding somewhere else to go !
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| YES, I HAD TO PLODGE THROUGH THIS IN CHEAP THIN UNWATERPROOFED TRAINERS WHILST MY WIFE MARCHED CONFIDENTLY AND DRILY ALONG IN HER BRASHER BOOTS ! |
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| I'M REALLY HAPPY JUST TO LOOK AT LINDIFARNE FROM MY CAFE TABLE IN 'THE BARN AT BEAL' ! |
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