"WHAT'S THAT ?" Shirley shouted, half leaping out of her skin, interrupting her tale of a noisy child running up and down a caravan somewhere we're not at at the moment because of Doctors appointments and grandchildren sitting !
"What's WHAT ?" I responded, all but deaf to anything remotely quiet coming from a different room !
"Oh it's the mobile, quick !" she howled once again half leaping out of her skin at a speed that almost defied belief !
But as she reappeared, grasping the iPhone 3 that one of our children had mothballed several years ago and then given her a month or so ago to replace something REALLY ancient from Nokia and staring myopically at the tiny screen that old technology had yet to improve on, the thing stopped ringing !
Of course 'RINGING' is not what it was doing..it was playing a tune that started quietly and then grew louder !
"Quick, it's the Doctors so it'll be for you ! Come on, leave that bloody computer alone and run upstairs where the reception's better !" and pressing redial she threw the thing at my instantly responsive athleticism !
".....all in this practice are bound by confidentiality....blah blah blah....now press ONE for blah blah blah...TWO for etc etc etc ad infinitum...."
I pressed FOUR for 'ANYTHING ELSE' !
"BLAH BLAH BLAH...how can I help ?"
"Someone just phoned this phone."
"Name ?"
"Nash"
"First name ?"
"David, well Jonathan David actually."
"Date of birth ?"
"The twentieth of January nineteen forty nine." I said, pronouncing things clearly as 20-1-49 has caused confusion in the past !
"How can I help ?"
"YOU just called ME !"
"Let me have a look. What was it about ?"
"How do I know, though I got a copy of a letter from the Cardiac Nurse yesterday, dated eleven days ago informing the doctor of a change of beta blockers."
"Ah ! The doctor's asked why !"
"But the reason is stated on the letter !"
At this point Shirley had run upstairs for the third time with my copy of the letter and the charging plug because the iPhone 3's battery only lasts about ten minutes and so began a struggle of listening to the receptionist whilst trying to work out how to plug the phone's charger into the phone one handed whilst also listening to Shirley telling me stuff which I couldn't concentrate on because the receptionist was also trying to tell me stuff and I was bent double sideways because the wire from the phone to the plug was too short !
"Oh it might be for me !" Shirley suddenly remembered as two weeks before she'd got me to hand in a letter from her optician who wanted the doctor to arrange some tests because he thought he's spotted the signs of a mini stroke on her retina....I didn't know they could do that...did you ?
"Hang on!" I said to the receptionist from my sideways curled position, "Your phone call this morning could have been for my wife...erm Shirley....I can't remember...May the something...same address yes...hang on she's sitting here so can I hand her the phone then I won't have to get her to give you her permission for me to continue talking to you about her...……………………………………..
And it WAS for her and she HADN'T seen the voicemail or something that they'd sent her!
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