SALLY...Part 186. THE TWENTY FIVE QUID UNDER RIM TOILET BRUSH !

YES TWENTY FIVE QUID !

Months ago it was when Shirley came to me HORRIFIED !

"Have you ever been down on your knees and looked up and under the toilet bowl's rim ?" she hurled at me mercilessly !

"Can't say I have pet no !" I answered with trepidation, fearing the worst !

"Well it's DISGUSTING and you're the one who cleans the toilet so SORT IT NOW !"

" I'm just finishing off these purs........

"NOW !"

So up I went obediently and frankly couldn't see what she was on about ! I clean that toilet perfectly every day and have even considered opening my own Public Toilet in my front garden now that England no longer has a single one in any town !

 I could sell Cream Teas whilst people waited or after they'd been and make a fortune !

"Shirley ! You could eat your dinner off my rim !" I said incorrectly !

"No you couldn't you blind fool and as usual I'm going to have to be the one who does something about it !"

So three days of research threw up a twenty five pound under rim model from Tescos and I was told to buy one next time I was near a store.

"TWENTY FIVE QUID FOR A TOILET BRUSH ? ARE YOU MAD ?" I squeaked.

"If that's what they cost then that's what you'll spend you tight fisted git !" she bellowed !

So months later I bought it and took it home triumphantly, adopting a 'Statue Of Liberty' pose as I presented it to my wife, disturbing her greatly as she hadn't finished checking the world's weather reports only ten hours after she'd once again woken at 4am !

"DAH DAAAH !" I roared !

"What is THAT ?" she sneered .

"That my darling is the twenty five quid under rim toilet brush you commanded me to buy months ago !" I replied awaiting her approval.

"Don't be STUPID ! No-one would pay twenty five quid for a toilet brush whether it cleans under the rim or not and I did not 'COMMAND' you to buy anything, never COMMAND you to do anything and certainly not to buy an under rim toilet brush for twenty five quid ! I'm going to have a heart attack and keep youir voice down or the neighbours will hear !" she threw back in my face !

"So you are actually denying that you spent DAYS researching under rim toilet brushes are you ?" I fumed, choking with hatred as I knew she HAD !

"I most certainly did NOT and if you want a good kicking just try carrying on with that tone in your voice !" she snarled, wiping the spittle off her chin with her fetid sleeve !

So that sorted that out and so we went out into the garden for our daily game of Scrabble which today was in the rain !

THIS DAILY GAME KEEPS US SANE !

Several days later and it's GONE !

The nice lady at Tescos gave me my money back without asking why I was returning it which was a pity really because I would have loved to have repeated some of Shirley's choicest swear words when she first saw it !

I hid under a tree at tescos to take this shot as I didn't want anyone to see me and think me weird and report me !

And my next stop was B&Q to replace the 'wrong' jointing sand with the correct jointing sand !