I would be lying if I said that I was the exception to this ancient rule !
I was engrossed in my latest SAS type book when it was kicked from my grasp by the angriest person I have ever met...except for TERRY THE SAUSAGE MAN at my market who is in a pemanent state of rage !
She said, "I SAID, do you think Josh (Groban) should keep his long beard, trim it to a short one or go clean shaven again ?"
Hoping that my answer would get me rewarded with at least a couple of slices of buttered toast I replied, "Clean Shaven."
"WELL I DON'T ! I think he should just trim it !"
"Oh yes of course, just a trim would suit him." I lied.
My eyes then lowered themselves automatically to my book which I had retrieved from the other end of the caravan where we had spent several days in close company enjoying the cold gale force rains of a Scottish summer, when it was kicked out of my hands again !
"That's the trouble with our marriage ! You don't listen to me and we never talk ! You might as well move into a colony of Facebookers who will all be as pathetic as you are writing to your false friends !"
I tried not to let out a 'Here we go again' groan as I put my book down and said, "I don't even dare BREATHE if you're reading in case I disturb you but whatever, what would you like to chat about ?"
At that moment her Kindle beeped for the thousandth time since 5:30am as another message was coming through from Denmark or Blyth !
The truth is that men shouldn't have to live with women unless the woman is interested in cars, golf, athletics, technical stuff or doing NOTHING and women should live in tribes with other women where they could talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.....and talk........generally about the same things they've discussed a hundred times before !
And for once I KNOW what I'm talking about !
Actually we did end our litle spat with an agreement that if my wife wants to talk to me whilst I'm reading then she will rap loudly on a table with a serving spoon and on that prompt I am allowed to read on until a convenient full stop before paying attention to her....which has turned me into a nervous wreck.....waiting for the rap !
OH GOD....THERE IT GOES !
"Yes dear ?"
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