SALLY...Part 176. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I ATE THE WRONG WRAP !

SEATON DELAVAL HALL ACROSS THE EARLY MORNING MISTY FIELDS !

As the sun finally came out I thought that it might just be possible to get Shirley and her bad knee to go for a gentle walk around Seaton Delaval Hall, our very local National Trust Property from which I am BANNED !

The bus would drop us right outside and I thought that if the pain was too bad then we could quickly get home !

She had actually admitted to feeling better having spent an hour or two yesterday bent from the waist pulling hundreds of dandelions out of our lawn and even managed a brave smile when she made us a picnic this morning !

SHE HATES GARDENING BUT LOVES GARDENS !

Dismounting our transport she thrust our Scottish National Trust membership cards into my hand for me to show them upon entry as she will have nothing to do with the lower classes who sit behind desks checking such things !

SO OLD IT HAS A PROP !

 We walked HER chosen route twice and once she'd decided that she felt strong enough for an additional FOUR MILE route march across fields, along a Dene and down a coastal road to a bench out of the wind we set out ! That is SHE set out and I followed, laden down with a rucksack containing her usual collection of anti-thigh-rub gels, spare shoes, tops, coats, boots, sun creams of various strengths, several litres of water and her spare visor in case the wind took the one she was wearing !

SOMEONE FORGOT TO SWITCH THE FOUNTAIN ON WHICH WOULD HAVE MADE THE SCENE PERFECT !

She ate her wrap, well half of it but how was I to know THAT whilst I took photos in the grounds and searched for a short-cut through the churchyard which she had instructed me to go and find but which wasn't open...so I failed in her eyes....like I do with most things I try to do to please her !

We tried another short cut across the side of the front lawn which I'd stupidly suggested but which ended in an impossible-to-cross HA HA !

Her eyes narrowed even further as she barked insults at my stupidity !

Sometime later I fell well behind as with bone crunching against bone she stormed off across the land !

Down in the dene I begged her to ease off and let me sit to eat as my legs felt hollow but NO, she sped up and disappeared into the far distance !

AH THE BLUEBELLS ARE BEST AT THIS TIME OF YEAR WHEN THEY'RE OUT !

So, faint with hunger I opened the sandwich box, saw two wraps and having received no instructions fell on the first one that came to hand and tore into it !

There were also two packets of posh Kettle crisps but as I knew I would be expected to eat the lesser 'Lightly Salted' ones, I left her much tastier 'Balsamic Vinegar' ones unopened and crunched through my alotted ounce and a quarter of nothingness !

When I eventually caught up with my now resting wife about an hour later she opened the box and demanded to know why I had eaten her other half of her cheese and cucumber wrap when I knew full well that she'd made me a Tuna one which she wouldn't have made for herself because she hates tuna !

My explanation of "I had no idea what was in a folded over wrap!" only managed to anger her more and she thanked me for being responsible for her having to starve as she HATED fish !

QUITE BEAUTIFUL REALLY DOWN HOLYWELL DENE !

So, I grabbed the offensive piece of dough and reluctantly shovelled it down my still hungry throat without  noticing that a great deal of Tuna juice had run out of the bottom of the wrap as it unrolled itself and dripped onto my jacket sleeve which now stank to add to the atmosphere as we 'discussed' my selfishness !

I HATE wraps ! What is the point of the foul, soggy, tasteless things anyway ?

So off she shot, bad tempered and starving for a further two mile silent route march to Seaton Sluice where she could finally rest ALL her bone on bone AND cracking joints on a proper bench !

IT'S NOT A BAD VIEW FROM THE BENCH WHERE WE SAT IN COMPANIONABLE ANGER !

We love our little walks !

HOME LAY TWO MILES THAT WAY BUT I HAD NO INTENTION OF WALKING ONE MORE STEP THOUGH SHIRLEY WOULD HAVE, CRACKING EVERYWHERE WITH EACH STEP AS BONE SPLINTERED AGAINST BONE, EXCEPT SADLY IN HER JAW, AS SHE URGED ME ON WITH HER USUAL STREAM OF INSULTS AGAINST MY MANLINESS !

MADAME ANGER AND CONSORT !