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| FORTY YEARS AGO NO ONE WOULD HAVE BET A PENNY ON US STILL BEING TOGETHER AND BEST FRIENDS ! |
it was about 10am and I was trying to think hard about what the nub of my problem is, which is why nobody likes me when my thoughts were broken into by quite an impatient,"D'you prefer your egg whole or 'omeletted' ?" shouted through with just a touch of irritation !
"Omeletted please ! Or whatever's easiest and puts least pressure on your aching hip seeing as you won't let me cook breakfast for you because of the mess you say I'll leave !" replied to with just the right amount of humility to really annoy her !
"Well you wanted it whole the other day !", returned with slightly more irritation !
"Then whole'll be fine thanks !", replied with just a touch of hope of a friendly acceptance !
"Plain bread or toasted !", even MORE irritated !
"Plain please!" sung rather than said in the hope of dispelling any residual tension !
Then quicker than any top chef could make a cup of tea I was shouted at, "Move your thing ! Move your thing ! Your bloody laptop ! MOVE IT !" as the plate was thrust under my face before I'd finished writing my first word !
I started eating absent-mindedly but still managed to think that I ought to express some gratitude so I mumbled, "Delicious thanks!"
"You WHAT?"
"I said 'DELICIOUS! THANKS!"
"And I didn't use a DROP of oil, unlike the pint of my best Virgin Olive Oil that you would have wasted and I suppose you'll want a drink or have you got one?" she snorted, impatient to get back to yet more of the daily thousands of Josh Groban reports !
"Got one thanks!" noting my mug was all but empty but not wanting to annoy her further and deciding that I'd wait and quietly go in and make one for myself once she was out of the kitchen !
"I can smell pepper!" she suddenly called!
"Smell WHAT ?" I replied trying to show interest !
"Pepper, PEPPER ! You deaf idiot !"
"Uhm!" I thought."I remember once reading that smelling rubber can signify an impending heart attack but pepper?"
Could smelling pepper also actually signify an impending heart attack I wondered with not a little hope quickening my heartbeat !
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