Sally-part 119. THE WORST MUSICIANS IN THE WORLD ARE 'THE MACSET'

IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO HIRE THEM DON'T BLAME ME ONCE YOU'VE HEARD HOW BAD THEY ARE !

(I wrote this in August 2013 and the younger looking one has JUST spoken to me today, the 10th of January 2016 to say he hasn't read it ! That is SO typical of the illiterate man he is ! Surely he could have asked his innebriated old man to read it to him ? KUH !)..........................................................

If anyone has ever heard ME sing as I busk with my guitar you will know that I am just terrible !

I can only play three chords and I have a voice like a toad !

BUT I am a master compared to the two worst 'musicians' I have ever heard !

Even calling them musicians is an insult to musicians !

They are called THE MACSET and they turn up relentlessly  week after week on The Quayside Market and MURDER 'Fog On The Tyne' non-stop for six solid hours !

It's the only song they know !

They 'play' a couple of battered very cheap and filthy guitars with missing strings without bothering to tune up what's left of them and with the 'instruments' plugged into an ancient amp which distorts their dreadful sound beyond anything humanly bearable !

Neither can remember the words or the chords for the entire song and they often just stop playing and snarl pure hate at each other which is of course highly embarrassing to passers-by !

They both attempt to 'sing' in falsetto voices and seem oblivious to the grotesque sounds that they make !

Why they continue to appear is beyond us all, especially as no-one has ever given them a penny for their truly pathetic efforts !

The younger one, as you can see on their tatty card, is obviously as bent as a ten bob note and is a pain in the neck, insisting on boring me over and over again with the same tale of how Simon Cowell personally begged them to be session players on THE X FACTOR !

X FACTOR my **** !

He's slumped on the ground because he's permanently drugged !

He smells disgustingly of unwashed hair and his body and clothes are covered in ancient sweat that has turned to grease and if you look carefully you can see the remnants of the cocaine powder he snorts every few minutes !

The older and much uglier one leaning on the telephone box for support suffers from Tourets and hurls streams of the foulest abuse at anything that moves whilst he swallows large amounts of neat meths out of a Coke bottle !

The public avoid them like the plague and I advise you to do the same if you have the misfortune to see them !

What I would like to ask them, if they were approachable would be, " What on earth does your motto ' SOMETHING THAT IS CREATED BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENS' actually mean because it makes NO SENSE to me !"

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !