Sally-Part 61. JULIAN AND JANNI'S WEDDING IN BANGKOK!

PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT!

After seven days of fittings and photos the bride ( and the groom and the groom's father! ) was ready for her second big day!

And a great day it was despite it being a major public holiday causing some of the one hundred and fifty guests to be late for the beautiful Buddhist ceremony where the bride and groom, both dressed traditionally were blessed by many of us pouring water over their hands that we had previously collected from a temple fountain during a charming, humble and gentle ritual that the Brits simply can't do!

PROUD AND ACTUALLY HUMBLE BLESSING THE BRIDE AND GROOM!

There are little open-air temples all over the country where everyone passing stands for a short while with their hands held in prayer bowing to their ancestors. I thought it was something right and missing from Western culture.

"THIS IS THE SPOT WHERE THE FIRST BULLET WILL HIT IF YOU EVER HURT MY DAUGHTER ! I'LL NOT MARK THE SECOND SPOT IN SUCH POLITE COMPANY !"

BLESSING FOLLOWED BLESSING !

AN HONOUR TO WELCOME YOU INTO MY FAMILY DAUGHTER NUMBER TWO !

COULDN'T YOUR HEART BURST ?

BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU ?

JUST REMEMBER ! WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE !

YOU CAN SMILE OLD SON BUT YOU DON'T MESS WITH OUR JARAPAH !

OH BOY ! WHAT BEAUTIES ! NOT YOU LADS...SORRY !

BANNY, JANNY, SANNY, TANNY, PANNY, LANNY, FANNY AND YANNY ! I MIGHT NOT HAVE GOT ALL THEIR NAMES QUITE RIGHT!

YOU CAN ONLY STAY SERIOUS FOR SO LONG !

After the wedding and the photos came the evening meal and speeches and more photos which clearly show just how beautiful my daughter-in-law is!

AND TODAY I'M POPPING INTO WEDDINGS ALL OVER BANGKOK TO ANNOUNCE THE LAUNCH OF MY HILARIOUS BLOG  "SALLY OF FOREST GATE"AND WHILE I'M HERE, GOOD LUCK TO THESE TWO, WHOEVER THEY ARE !

HOW MANY WAYS ARE THERE TO SAY "GORGEOUS"? !

And her friends were gorgeous too!

AND JANNY ATE IT ALL !

We'd moved from our original hotel to the wedding hotel for one night, the three of us sharing the one double bed!

OF COURSE NOT YOU TWITS !

And in the morning set off on what must be one of the worst six hour double-decker bus rides of my life to the ferry terminal for Koh Chang our Honeymoon Island just off the coast of Cambodia.

The entire length of the upstairs windows on one side of the bus had been smashed in an accident that didn't bear thinking about and was now held in place by parcel tape and I'm not exaggerating!

Julian didn't feel his best once we'd got on the ferry for a twenty minute ride and had to rush to the appropriately named bowels of the ship to visit what to western eyes was not a nice place!

What is it with people and toilets almost anywhere in the world

When we were in Bangkok eating in a very strange place consisting of a massive stadium-like area with dreadful live bands performing on a stage too far away to see, full of tables and surrounded by food stalls and plagued by attractive young ladies determined to sell us THEIR beer and just after Janni had explained what the food stalls were selling which, rather like the Kao San Road seemed to consist mainly of locusts, scorpions, dried baby crabs and chickens smashed to pieces, Julian suddenly and rather quietly went, "Oh dear! Must find a loo!" and clutching his belly disappeared for about half an hour, which worried Janny a little and me not at all !

When he returned he was pale-faced and couldn't eat his deep fried squid tongues or whatever unrecognisable delicacy Janny had ordered for him!

He sat there even quieter than usual for him and said, " Not good ! "

My last-ditch horse cure had sorted me out the day before and so as I chewed on a chicken claw I got him to take one and within half an hour he was absolutely fine again!

The name is Ciprofloxacine! Buy it at the pharmacy as soon as you arrive and take it the MOMENT the first gasp-making wrench makes you want to die!

"So son where is the toilet as I need a pee? "

"Dad!" he replied with real horror on his face," Don't go there! There are men and lady-boys waiting for punters in every cubicle! It's filthy and worse still I forgot to buy any toilet paper from the machine before I went in!"

" So how did you, you know, 'tidy up' afterwards?" I asked grinning!

" The hose! " he whispered before making it obvious that he didn't ever want to talk about the place again!

I held on!

Hope I haven't wrecked the wedding day too badly!

Next Thailand Episode....KOH CHANG !