I had just gone heavy on the butter when I heard, called through from my wife's Ipad viewing couch, "Go easy on the butter !" because she can just sense when I'm doing wrong !
If she'd really wanted that she'd have made my Marmite on toast elevenses herself, when she would have scraped an invisible amount of my favourite lubricant on to what Hovis sells as white bread without printing 'TASTELESS WITH A HORRIBLE TEXTURE AND LIKE TRYING TO CHEW THIN CARDBOARD' prominently on its wrapper, thereby saving about half a p !
But she didn't and I had to crawl through from my sewing machine starved half to death to prepare my own food !
So having failed to unbutter two slices of burnt toast because you can't unbutter melted butter, especially heavily spread butter, I heaped on extra thick Marmite to disguise my crime in case it were to be inspected, which it thankfully wasn't as the amount of topping I'd used was ridiculous and would have been noticed and commented upon !
I quickly scoffed the lot, choking as quietly as I could on the product bought from Asda under its own name and which tastes exactly like Marmite because I'd put on FAR too much !
No comments:
Post a Comment