Sally-Part 94. WHAT ? EGYPT AGAIN ! YOU MUST BE JOKING !

CLOUDS ALL THE WAY DIDN'T MATTER !

OUR LANDING WITH A DAMAGED ENGINE WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA !

Those who have read my disastrous Egyptian Blogs, Parts 52 to 56, will know that I swore never to go back !

BUT WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO GO BACK AFTER OUR SUMMER ?

Surely, if I did then 'agents', who had read them would be waiting at Visa Control to escort me to a dungeon where my privatest parts would be hacked off and I would be force-fed them raw !

Well go back I did, once again as nursemaid, mainly for Daniel who when not being an angel turns into something essentially possessed by the Devil, bearing creditable witness to the term 'The Terrible Twos' !

TANTRUMLESS !

His mother also had her dreadful moments between the ages of two and thirty five but to watch him transform from nothing into a raving maniac, roaming the room with teeth bared, determined to bite flesh, is terrifying, as he is now strong enough to require serious restraint or even a time of hysterical crying on 'The Naughty Step' !

If he refuses to go to 'The Naughty Step' then I take myself there and cry hysterically instead !

THE BOLTON MONSTER'S MOTHER AGED 23 !

His mother, once in a temper as a sixteen year old shouted, " I just want to bite someone !" So we know where he gets it from don't we Gemma ?


" GOT ANY SPARE CHANGE MATE ? " ON THE DAY I HAD TO LOOK AFTER  DANIEL BY MYSELF I TAUGHT HIM THE RUDIMENTS OF BEGGING ON AN EGYPTIAN STREET ! HE RAISED A COUPLE OF HUNDRED QUID BEFORE I SWAPPED HIM FOR A CAMEL ! ( OR WISH I HAD ! )

Shirley once again declined the chance of coming with us as she rightly knew that the African heat would debilitate her and crack her eyelids. But her surrogate spy watched me with eyes like a hawk, noting any attempt on my part to glance at young female flesh in buttockless bikini bottoms !

I was allowed to stare, if I liked, at the ancient flabby-bummed crones who thought it acceptable to wear the same costumes and, for goodness sake why aren't there fashion police patrolling the sunbeds to force them to wear something less revealing ?

Banned from the young, I became quite an expert on bottoxed bums !

PHWOAR PAMPAR! DID YOU SEE THE ONE IN THE WHITE ? SHE IS GORGEOUS ! DON'T TELL MUM I SAID THAT OR I'LL TELL HER YOU'VE BEEN STARING AT LOADS OF WOMEN WHILE PRETENDING TO BE LOOKING AFTER ME AND SHE'LL TELL GRANDMA AND YOU'LL BE DEAD ! NOW, ABOUT THOSE SWEETS YOU SAID I COULDN'T HAVE.........

England was cold when we set out for our two hour airport wait followed by a six hour flight followed by an hour queuing for one fat and slow man to stamp four hundred people's passports, followed by a sweltering ten minute tramp to a really old minibus, in fifty degree centigrade heat, dressed in my English autumn wear, followed by an hour's tortuous driving over three hundred anti-terrorist-attack speed bumps, followed by half an hour's reception formalities, followed by a ten
minute climb up a cliff to our apartments !

Well yes there was a lift but it was tiny and aggravatingly unavailable most of the time !

We were SO hot that we simply changed into shorts and costumes and fell into the pool with the air temperature, though it was dusk, delightfully delicious !

DYLAN AT SEVEN ! WHAT A PRO !

OK! SLIGHTLY LESS PRO ! AND HE DIVED LIKE THIS FOR AN HOUR AT A TIME OR ENJOYED HIMSELF TURNING HUNDREDS OF BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS  SOMERSAULTS !

We then spent a week eating splendidly, swimming in whichever of the four hotel pools we fancied, drinking and snacking on whatever was available, free of charge, as we had paid for 'fully inclusive'.

WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE THERE RIGHT NOW ? DANIEL GEMMA AND DYLAN KEEPING COOL.

Our hotel, The Tropitel Naama Bay was perfect and you can't rate it any higher than that !

DIVE SITE 1. JUST LOOK AT THAT WATER !

Gemma and Derek went diving three times and I went snorkelling with them out to Tiran Island and the beautiful surrounding reefs.

A SEVEN YEAR OLD THINKING ABOUIT FREE-DIVING IN SHARM AND THE WOMEN HE'D LEFT BEHIND !

BRINGING THE BOAT BACK INTO HARBOUR !

COMMANDER BOND AND HIS M !

THE END OF A PERFECT DIVE DAY ! DENISE THE INSTRUCTRESS ASKING  THE PEOPLE DUE BACK IN ENGLAND THE NEXT DAY IF THEY  COULD UNDERSTAND WHY SHE HAD GIVEN UP BEING AN ACCOUNTANT IN LONDON FOR A LIFE BENEATH THE WAVES IN THE RED SEA ! WITH AIMEE, GEMMA, DYLAN, JAIME AND DEREK.

In fact, snorkelling off the beach was equally brilliant as nearly all the highly coloured fish were no more than a paddle away.

Every one of the solely male staff were charming and very welcoming but you have to wonder just what would have happened if the terrorists intercepted at the border, ready to blow up and kill Sharm's holiday makers had got through !

And that planned attack was foiled the day we got back !

This time there was no Icelandic Volcanic Eruption to ruin things, just Daniel !

SPECTACULAR FLOWERS EVERYWHERE !