"David ! My phone isn't charging properly !" I was informed, "The old wire's cracked and this one's got a different slot which doesn't fit into my old plug so what have you done with my proper one as it's taken eight hours to charge 2% ?"
Actually I'd stopped listening after "David !" so she might not have said that lot !
The thing is my wife and I don't have a clue about modern communications and trying to explain the 'technicals' to us is pointless as we simply don't remember what we're supposed to find 'instinctive' !
Now I hate wires, all wires, whether for a phone or a vacuum cleaner or a radio or the one to recharge my almost useful hand-held hoover that sucks up very little.
I especially hate the uselessly short phone charger one that makes me have to lean over the edge of my bed when checking stuff I don't need to check when I should be asleep and I really hate the tyre inflator one I have to plug into the cigar lighter !
SO....for an extra Birthday/Anniversary gift when I spotted a three metre long gold one and bought it stupidly thinking it would win me a compliment and a slice of her cake !
"What's this ?" she demanded at 3:30am, her normal waking up time after sleeping for about her usual forty five minutes !
"Er grp perd gable!" I slurped from my normal deep sleep and went instantly back into the depths.
Her phone still failed to charge quickly and my suggestion that the battery might need replacing as the phone was a well used hand-me-down from a child didn't get well received !
She did in fact use my gift despite complaining that the electricity took much longer to get along it and last Sunday I phoned at the end of market to tell her it hadn't rained at all despite the forecasts only to hear her shaken voice explain that she'd leapt up to take her cake plate back into the kitchen to get some more cake when she found herself suddenly face down on the carpet having narrowly missed splitting her skull on the low cupboard that the radio sits on, landing on her right arm and the second toe of her left foot (????) !
The new charging cable had somehow crept between her foot and her sandal and acted as a perfect tripwire once it had reached it's full length and Shirley was in full flight.....and you have to see her on her bike to really appreciate her in full flight ! She rides faster than any man in lycra and a stupid helmet !
The visible result of her fall are an armful of multicoloured bruises along the whole length that would make a good crime scene exhibit and the police would definitely think I'd beaten her up had she ended up in hospital after I returned home and found her dead !
Mind you, I'm now using that wire and it works perfectly for me...perhaps it just needed a good yank ?
