SALLY...PART 208 ! FOOD IS SOMETHING YOU MOVE FROM THE FREEZER TO THE BIN AFTER PLACING IT BRIEFLY IN FRONT OF CHILDREN !

ET ? NAFF OFF HOME WILL YER ?

I've only had a four year and an eight year old on my own for seven hours but I am now determined to denounce this life and move permanently to a male only retreat in Outer Mongolia !

DON'T TRY MELTING MY HEART BOY !

If I were a woman I would DEMAND to go to work full time after having had my bits and my brain torn asunder by the little horrors !

HUGO AWARDED HIMSELF THIS CADBURY'S CHOCOLATE MOUSSE AFTER EATING JUST THREE SQUARES OF EGGY BREAD FOR BREAKFAST BEFORE ANNOUNCING HIMSELF FULL !

It's a combination of EVERYTHING, from having my hands permanently in the washing up bowl, scurrying around tidying up constantly in case my husband were to come home from work suddenly and think me a lazy pig, the endless questioning, the ENDLESS putting me down and the refusal to eat more than a teaspoonful of any hurriedly thrown together load of junk food !

HUGO NOW GOES NOWHERE WITHOUT HIS SUITCASE ON WHEELS WHICH CONTAINS ONLY HIS I PAD !

I understand ladies WHY you ignore your children so WHY do you want more than ONE of the little turds ?

It's ten hours since I was woken and I've finally sat down on my own for a moment before hearing a shelf of toys hit the deck AGAIN !

Why DO I bother !

If I was A WOMAN and a husband WAS about to arrive home I would be waiting for him to just TRY getting fruity before whacking him over the head with my rolling pin !

I feel that I AM now well and truly in touch with my 'feminine' side !