Sally...Part 153. THE BEST PRIME MINISTER THIS COUNTRY NEVER HAD !

I OCCASIONALLY TAKE A LITTLE HELP FROM A TUBE OR TWO !

It's not that I didn't suspect this on the day we were wed but I married a born organiser and a woman not prepared to let HER opinion be overridden by any other mere mortal !

THIS SIXTH FORMER (CENTRE) WAS SUMMONED TO THE OFFICE AND TOLD THAT SHE NEEDED TO BEHAVE WITH MORE HUMILTY ! HER ARROGANCE WAS ALREADY TOO FAR ADVANCED BY THIS TIME FOR ANY KIND OF REVERSAL !

That's only one woman by the way as I wouldn't have been stupid enough to have wed two women on  the same day !

Advice on all matters has been her forte and I wish I could only remember a fraction of the ideas I've presented that have been met with that well known stoney stare of contempt beloved by all husbands !

Why DO men pretend to their mates that they are in charge and make all the major decisions in their families ? I wouldn't, if I had any mates, and have never made a single decision in my life !

At the moment her, literally, upstairs has a horrendous bout of something handed down to her by her daughter through HER children and I have been found wanting in the caring department !

Well, in truth, I have offered all sorts of things like a hot drink every five or six hours or a biscuit but that just wasn't good enough for her ! She wanted a meal for God's sake and she wouldn't even consider letting me help her to get dressed and ambulanced to a restaurant. NO ! She expected me to COOK her one !

No-one has EVER eaten anything I have ever attempted to produce and I have been banished from the kitchen for decades ! I didn't even know we had a kitchen !

This morning I worked out how to light the oven and put in four part-baked rolls before going to my room and forgetting all about them ! I rushed back in, removed them and wasn't allowed to fill one for her as I would have put on too much butter and got the miniscule amount of jam she likes on hers wrong, TOTALLY WRONG !

I ate mine, whilst reading my own Blog with the horrible ham I insisted on buying, topped off with Pease Pudding which smelt like it's 'use by' day had expired some time last century, without noticing that the insides were on the cool side.

When the croaking one appeared, flustered and slightly angry because SHE had had to find a defunct passport of mine for distant family legal reasons, she made her own roll which she instantly spat out because I had in fact panicked and removed them after three instead of twelve minutes and hadn't apparently pre-warmed the oven first !

It was suggested that I was worse than useless and that she couldn't wait for me to go down with what she was suffering !

For that reason I will not allow her to kiss me for several more days and have luckily been invited to look after a grandson for four or five hours after looking after a different one yesterday for twelve !

I shall start working on the screenplay shortly, as recommended by an American fan !